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Jul. 18th, 2008

Title: Mean Girl or Misunderstood?
Author: Sweeneys 1 and only (Umm...)
Fandom: Hairspray
Content Rating: T
Characters Raped: Amber
Rating: D (Dreadful)
Notes: Poor me, poor me, poor me. I could vomit. The entire thing is trying to make you feel sorry for Amber, when her life isn't even that bad even in the fanfic. It's just a "Pity Me!" fest, which makes you want to choke Amber. Also, two chapters in one since they're fairly short considering.

Mean Girl or Misunderstood?

A Biography of Amber Von Tussle

Chapter 1 - An intro to a very sad life **SPOILER ALERT** Her life isn't very sad at all.

Amber Von Tussle was the type of girl who seemed to have a perfect life, but anyone who thought this was sadly mistaken What a wonderful start. Her relationships were haunted with ghosts of awful advice she’d received from her Mother "Fuck 'em and leave 'em, Amber!"; she’d just lost her boyfriend to a girl who had EVERYTHING Tracy Turnblad has everything? Oookay..., and the only person she could actually talk to was someone she was constantly trying to avoid WAH. Her popularity was suddenly in short supply, and people who used to be her best friends were all of a sudden not returning her phone calls or on speaking terms with her at school. *Snorts* Oh boy, you aren't popular anymore and your friends were little bitches. It isn't the end of the world. Sometimes she felt that she would never be happy. Oh, the drama!

Although she was very close with her Mother, Velma Von Tussle, that never really did her very much good. Why? Because she isn't appreciative of the things she has? Possibly. Mrs. Von Tussle was the Station Manager for WYZT. Although Amber prided herself on how well she believed she could dance, deep down she knew that the only reason she was on the Corny Collins show was because every once in a while Velma would sleep with her boss. It hurt to know that her Mother was so nonchalant about getting her way through blow jobs "Blowing Your Way To The Top", a book by Velma Von Tussel, but what could Amber do about it? That’s why she always put all her effort into the Corny Collins Show; she wanted to be on the show at least on some of her own merit.

Her life as a whole pretty much sucked. Not really, actually. It sounds at worst mediocre. When she was only seven, her Father died, at her Mother’s hand. He was considerably older than Mrs. Von Tussle and hadn’t been doing so well. To speed up the process, Velma had slipped some Potassium Chloride into his IV, and threatened that if the Nurse had told anyone, she’d kill her, or worse, make her “unhireable”. Of course, at the funeral Mrs. Von Tussle seemed very grief-stricken about the death of her beloved husband despite, y'know, killing him. After all, she was a very impressive actress, one of the traits that she so often referred to as what got her the title of ‘Miss Baltimore Crabs’. Um, no, she says what got her there was that she "screwed the judges". Were you even paying attention to the movie? "They padded their cups/But I screwed the judges/Those broads thought they'd win/If a plate they would spin in their dance/Ha! Not a chance."

Yes, the title ‘Miss Baltimore Crabs’ often escaped Velma’s mouth, below wide, star-struck eyes, and a perfect, reminiscent grin nearly always followed. Is it just me, or does this description make it sound like she was drugged? You could say this was her ‘claim to fame’ because it was. She insisted that this was the perfect thing for a girl to have, a reason for people to be impressed with her; something to make their eyebrows shoot up and their mouths to form silent, ‘Oooohhh’s To give random people orgasms?. She often would continue to say that the Miss Teenage Hairspray Pageant was as close as she was going to get to one of these.

She’d won the title of ‘Miss Teenage Hairspray’ for the past 3 years, but this year Inez Stubbs won that title, and Amber could clearly see why. Inez was a wonderful dancer, and she had beautiful, dark brown skin and hair; much more attractive than Amber’s pale white skin, and almost white-blonde hair. Um, I doubt Amber would be in envy of her dark skin and hair, considering the fact that she seems appaled that Tracy was dancing on a bus with "negros". She sometimes even planted herself at her mirror, cursing herself for a reflection that looked so like her Mother. I just can't see Amber doing this. She's a spoiled brat, not an emo kid.

She was her spitting image, and no matter how hard she tried, she sometimes found it hard to separate herself from her. “We’re completely different, I would never just give myself to someone to get some cheap reward for it the way she does, NEVER!!” But this still frequently drove her to tears, after all, how could you separate yourself from someone you’d spent the first nine months of your life in? Was it even possible? Yes, people do it all the time.

The only slight comfort was that she was a total whinging attention whore and everyone seemed to notice this. she only had 3 more weeks of going to that awful place they called High School. She’d already found a college that she was accepted to and they were expecting her in the fall. Wait, Amber going to college? She was pursuing her interest in history. Uh, what? Amber's a spoiled popular girl. I can't see her having any interest whatsoever in history. She adored history on so many different levels because it allowed her to escape from the not-so-dreadful life she couldn’t help but lead and the way it allowed her to live someone else’s life temporarily, to be in their shoes for a little while.

She dreamed of someday having a book published Oh, just stop right there. about some tremendously known event that never had very much light shed on it, and would really show people the true human prerogative or condition. Yes, she would help people understand themselves more, somehow or other. Her Mother still didn’t know about the history bit, but she was aware that Amber would be leaving for college in only 3 short months. How could she not know if they're close? They’d made a wager that after Amber completed 4 years of college, she would return home and they would figure it out from there. Amber practically had to beg her Mother to let her do this, and she was very proud of the result.

Secretly, she planned to save up money during her 4 years of college, and by the time she’d graduated, she would be able to permanently get away from Baltimore; from everything that had prevented her from leading the happy life she knew she deserved despite the fact that her life wasn't that bad in the first place.


Chapter 2-A New Character

Chapter 2-A New Character Yeah, do we really need to hear the chapter title twice?

The next day was a Wednesday. Amber especially hated Wednesdays and every other day and everything and everyone. lately because these were the days she had the most classes with Link. Ever since the Miss Hairspray Pageant she could barely even look at Link without missing him. For the rest of the week they were reviewing for exams, so classes weren’t too challenging.

She’d always been a good student Um, what?, so she knew she wouldn’t have any problems with exams Don't get too cocky, there..2 0 Yay, random numbers! Her first class was biology, which she stomached pretty well, since that was the only class she didn’t have with Link, but she had English Studies next and there was hardly a way to not notice him since he sat right next to her!! Yeah, you'll get over it.

As she dawdled Dawdled? at her locker, dreading walking into the classroom, she saw Tracy and Link walking past her. Hand in hand, laughing together. They seemed to share this amazingly hilarious joke that no one but them could comprehend "HA HA HA HA HA SQUIRRELS 8D" "HA HA HA HA". When they got to the classroom door, they faced each other and whispered something in unison before giggling again. They're robots, clearly.

There they go with that great joke again, God! When would they just give it a rest?!” "How dare they be happy!"

They quickly stopped giggling though, only to kiss each other passionately. Oh Link and Tracy, you and your PDA. Amber couldn’t look. She turned her head and violently shut her eyes. How can you "violently" shut your eyes? She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, although it didn’t calm her down any. She turned around again to find them smiling at each other, right before they parted. Link went into the classroom, and Tracy turned to her left and down the Hall.

As slow, hot tears HOT tears? I've never had hot tears... ran down her face she thought to herself,

“I’ve got to get out of here. If only I were in college already… I don’t think I can face these people anymore.” Woe is me!

She quickly wiped away her tears, shoved her English Studies book back in her locker, and ran for it. Where the hell is she going to go? She pushed her way through the pre-class crowds. She didn’t acknowledge people when she noticed them staring at her, she just kept running. She finally reached the front doors and grabbed the trunk of an old oak tree, slowly sliding down as more tears escaped her eyes. Soon tears turned into blubbering, loud, hard gasps and the painful moan of heartbreak Sounds like something out of an emo poem. She didn’t say a word, just thought,

“Why has my whole life gone to pots? "Pots"? I know I wasn’t always the nicest person to everybody You can say that again!, but now it feels like I have absolutely nothing positive in my life You have a nice home, a rich mother who you're close with, money, are generally popular and on a TV show. I'd say you're ok. I got fired from the Corny Collins Show Oh, well, -1 then., my only real interest, I’ve got no friends I find it hard to believe Amber could ever have "no friends", an ex-boyfriend who I’m still in love with, and my Mother is probably the worst thing for me, and she’s the only one who’s still willing to speak to me. How could it have gone this far?” You know, I feel like I SHOULD care...

“Hey lady, what are ya crying for?” HEY LAAAYDAAAAY!

Amber tore her face from the tree trunk to face at the source of that sudden voice Can a voice really be "sudden"?. He was a tall boy with dark skin and hair, taking a drag on a cigarette. He was handsome, and it made her feel even more ashamed to know that he had probably seen her whole meltdown.

“Uh, nothing, (sniffles) What wonderful writing!, I’m fine.” she replied while wiping tears away for the second time that day Oh, buck up and stop being a baby. He scoffed and replied, “Doesn’t look like nothin’. I was afraid your eyes were gonna pop out a few minutes ago." Now there's a lovely image.

Amber stifled a laugh. It amazed her how infectious his upbeat mood was. Sure it was nice of him to be concerned, but did he honestly think she would bear her soul for a perfect stranger?

“Ya wanna talk about it?” he said, dropping his cigarette, snubbing it out, and putting his hands in his pockets.

Alright then, I guess he wants me to bear my soul for a perfect stranger…” No, really?

“Well, it’s a long story, my life story almost. I don’t even think I understand it fully. “ Oh, sure you do.

“You see, this is where I come in. I figure if you convey everything you know to me, then we can figure it out together, as a group effort. Ya get what I’m saying?” he said sitting down next to her. He grinned at her confidently. How could she possibly fight a cute, grinning boy who was willing to help her solve her problems?

“Besides, I’ll do anything to stop you from crying again. It kills me to see such a pretty girl in distress like you…” FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT.

“I wonder if it would be polite to die now…"

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